A Lonely Friend


To this day, I still dwell on the people I thought to be my friends and some could even be my brothers. However, life is not all rainbows and butterflies as my Dad always says. In fact, from my painful experience, it only made me stronger and a little knowledgable despite my ADD. I know, talk about being a complicated loco fellow hahahaha. Anyways, corniness aside, I am still hurt and I still do feel a little lonely asking my friends for a night out hopelessly and then ending up with excuses either no answer, busy, or just plain lazy. Yet, I sometimes wonder if it’s because of me that cause them to come up with such excuses and that made me analyze every conversation frantically like a wife stalking her cheating husband.

So, obviously I have trusting issues due to betrayal after betrayal to the degree I have also got sick and tired of myself. Look, don’t get me wrong. I admit sometimes I can be overwhelmingly desperate with long text messages accusing the person of not hanging out enough making me doubt myself even more. Of course, that caused a little depression and suicide thoughts blah blah blah and so to sum this all up I have written a poem to describe a lonely friend.

Lonely as I am

I hit the wall BAM BAM BAM!!

 

People say I’m desperate

I might go insane

“You’re not worth it!”

Just screams in my brain.

 

Am I not kind?

Am I not worthy?

Or am I just blind to be your dummy?

 

Have you no shame?

Have you no guilt?

You and I are not the same

For that is not how I am built.

 

I am loyal

I am decent

Why do things that make me boil?

Why you treat me like a cheap cent?

 

Being a magnet is a weakness

Of that I am ashamed.

Lack of friends made me speechless

Due to enemies I dare not be named.

 

Lies and excuses are all I hear

 But when you need me, I’ll give you my ear.

 

Yes, I am a guy

I should not care.

 And yet I do so cry

When you’re not aware.

 

Would like us to be close friends

Some day

If my life could end

One day.

 

Cuz if you were in trouble

And don’t know who to call

I’ll be there on the double

As you strive to crawl.

 

So there you have it. Now, I ask you my loco fellows…have you ever gone through experiences like these? Because I would love it if you could share some advice for me to control my patience with these so-called “friends” and I sure would like to hope I could find my real friends some day.

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5 thoughts on “A Lonely Friend

  1. DG says:

    Wow. I’m sorry you had to go through this. Sometimes I have days like these, and I’d come to the conclusion to just drop people like them. If they don’t wanna hang out; their loss, just wouldn’t want them coming to me one of those days looking for a “friend with benefit”.

    • locofellow says:

      The dilemma here is its a little difficult for me to overcome my lack of close friends now at age 24. The only benefit I got from this is I’m getting stronger emotionally about it, but it still hurts like hell

  2. DG says:

    Well, I’m nearing 30 years old, and I find life to be a bit stress- free and less tiring if you manage to get rid of unwanted people. It does make you stronger emotionally; and who knows, you might make some great, new friends alone the way.

  3. DG says:

    *alone= along*

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